Your child tells you something unexpected.
Maybe they describe seeing someone you cannot see. Maybe they tell you about a dream that felt unusually real. Perhaps they suddenly know something they seemingly had no way of knowing, or describe a strong impression about a person or place.
You listen. You try not to look startled.
And then, after the conversation ends, a different question begins running through your mind:
Should I ask more about this, or should I leave it alone?
For parents of highly perceptive or intuitive children, this can be a surprisingly difficult balance. Asking questions can communicate interest and acceptance. Asking too many questions, however, can make an experience feel larger or more important than it was to the child.
There isn’t one script that works for every family. What matters more is creating a relationship in which your child knows they can talk to you without feeling interrogated, dismissed, or pressured to produce an explanation.
Start by Noticing How Your Child Is Telling You
Before deciding what to ask, pay attention to something easy to overlook: your child’s emotional state.
Imagine two children making essentially the same statement:
“I saw a woman standing by my bedroom door.”
One child says it casually while eating breakfast and then starts talking about what they want to do that afternoon.
Another child whispers it at bedtime and asks whether the woman can hurt them.
The words may be similar. The needs behind them are very different.
The first child may simply be sharing something they experienced. The second may be frightened and looking to a parent for safety.
This is one reason Dr. Athena Drewes’ work with children emphasizes understanding the whole child rather than isolating an unusual experience from everything surrounding it. The resources available through Perceptive Children offer parents a broader perspective on children’s Exceptional Experiences and ways to respond.
You Don’t Have to Investigate Every Experience
When a child tells us something surprising, adult curiosity can take over quickly.
What did you see?
What did the person look like?
What did they say?
Have you seen them before?
When did this start?
Those may all be reasonable questions in the right circumstances. But imagine being the child on the receiving end of them.
Something they mentioned casually has suddenly become a major event.
Children pay close attention to adults’ reactions. If a parent becomes intensely interested every time an unusual experience is mentioned, the child may learn that these experiences receive special attention.
That can subtly change future conversations.
A useful question for the parent is not simply, “What else can I find out?”
It is:
“What does my child need from me right now?”
Sometimes the answer is simply to be heard.
Curiosity Can Be Gentle
Giving a child space does not mean ignoring them.
There is a middle ground between interrogation and silence.
If your child seems interested in talking, you might say:
“Tell me more about that.”
Or:
“What was that like for you?”
Notice the difference between those questions and immediately asking, “Was it a ghost?”
The first invites the child to describe their own experience. The second supplies an interpretation.
That distinction matters.
Children are still developing their understanding of the world. When adults provide explanations too quickly, children can begin adopting the adult’s interpretation rather than exploring what they actually noticed, thought, or felt.
The Frequently Asked Questions provide additional perspective for parents trying to understand unusual childhood experiences without jumping prematurely to conclusions.
What If My Child Doesn’t Want to Talk?
This is another moment when parents can become anxious.
A child mentions something unusual. The parent asks about it later, and suddenly the child says:
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
That doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong.
Children sometimes need time before returning to an experience. Older children may also become more private as they develop greater social awareness and independence.
Instead of pressing for information, a parent can leave the door open:
“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here.”
That sentence does something important.
It tells the child that the subject is safe without requiring the child to discuss it.
Be Careful About Turning Every Conversation Into a Lesson
Parents understandably want to help.
But not every unusual experience needs to end with an explanation, coping technique, or discussion about what it means.
Sometimes children tell us things for the same reason adults tell one another things:
They simply want to share.
If your child tells you about an unusual dream and then asks what’s for breakfast, it may be perfectly appropriate to talk about breakfast.
Allowing ordinary life to continue can itself be grounding.
It communicates that unusual experiences can be discussed without becoming frightening or consuming the family’s attention.
When Asking More Questions Does Matter
There are also situations where a parent should learn more.
If your child appears frightened, distressed, confused, or unable to function normally because of what they are experiencing, gentle questions can help you understand what support they need.
You might want to know whether the experience is affecting:
- Sleep
- School
- Friendships
- Daily activities
- The child’s sense of safety
The important distinction is that you are trying to understand how the child is doing, not conducting an investigation into whether the experience is objectively real.
That keeps the child’s emotional health at the center of the conversation.
Parents who are trying to understand recurring experiences may also find the parent intake survey useful for looking at the broader pattern rather than focusing on a single incident.
Your Reaction Becomes Part of the Experience
Children may forget some of the details of what they told us.
They are less likely to forget how we made them feel when they told us.
A shocked expression can communicate fear.
A dismissive laugh can communicate embarrassment.
Intense questioning can communicate that something enormous has happened.
Calm attention communicates something very different:
“You can tell me things.”
That may be one of the most valuable messages a parent can give a perceptive child.
Dr. Drewes brings an unusual combination of perspectives to these conversations: more than 45 years of clinical work with children and families alongside decades of research, writing, and professional involvement concerning children’s psychic and Exceptional Experiences. That background allows room for unusual experiences without losing sight of healthy child development.
You Are Allowed to Say “I Don’t Know”
Parents sometimes believe they need an answer before the conversation ends.
You don’t.
If your child asks, “What do you think happened?” it is perfectly reasonable to say:
“I’m not sure. But I’m glad you told me.”
There is something powerful about a parent who can tolerate uncertainty without becoming frightened by it.
It teaches the child that unanswered questions are manageable.
It also leaves room for curiosity, critical thinking, and future reflection.
If an experience is causing significant fear, anxiety, confusion, or disruption in everyday life, parents may want additional guidance. Families can learn more about reaching Dr. Drewes through the Contact page.
Keep the Door Open
Perhaps the best measure of a conversation isn’t how much information you obtained.
It’s whether your child feels comfortable coming back.
You don’t have to draw out every detail the first time. You don’t have to decide immediately what an experience means. And you certainly don’t have to turn every unusual moment into a defining feature of your child’s identity.
Listen.
Notice how your child is feeling.
Ask a little more when it seems helpful.
Give them room when it doesn’t.
For parents who want to understand these experiences more deeply, Dr. Athena Drewes’ Psychic Children: A Sign of Our Expanding Awareness is available through the Perceptive Children book shop.
The goal isn’t to become your child’s investigator. It’s to become the person they know they can talk to when something happens that they don’t quite understand.
That relationship will matter far longer than any single answer.
